


Fearing the Steadfastly Permanent

by t0talcha0s



Series: Permanence [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: It's also implied Rose is polyamorous so shout out to that, M/M, Multi, POV Dirk, Poor baby Dirk doesn't know what to do after the party, Sexual References, Supermarkets, everyone but Dirk Caliborn and Rose are just mentioned, this is so short i'm ashamed sorry guys, this one is surprising PG with only a hint of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3877912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t0talcha0s/pseuds/t0talcha0s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You had sworn up and down the wall you were over and done with him, like with every one of your previous boyfriends. But somehow, for some reason, you can't get Caliborn off your mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fearing the Steadfastly Permanent

It’s been weeks. Time is your brother’s thing but you swear you can count each and every minute it’s been. You hate admitting it to yourself but you miss him. You miss his voice, deep and growly, relaxing to hear. You miss how extremely warm he is, you don’t even need a blanket when he’s wrapped around you. You miss how he smells, slightly spicy and rough and unique and insanely Caliborn. You’ve denied yourself the urge to wear his shirts just to smell him on you. You miss the way he walks, his ridiculously bad art. You miss how he would hold you close at night. Even when you were scared. Scared of the future, of having to settle down. Even on your worse days, when you wish you could fall back in the terrible self-destructive habits you worked so hard to break, he never treated you like you were fragile. Even when you felt shattered he never acted like you would break. He never cared to know what plagued you, and you’re oddly thankful for that. Holy fuck you miss him so much. This is utterly unacceptable.

You lay draped over your couch, one leg flung over the back of it and you cover your eyes and groan. You can’t focus on anything but Caliborn and the distraction is not appreciated. You feel fatigued, and fidgety, and tense, and every sensation is conflicting and terrible. A muscle in your leg twitches and you really ought to get out of the house, well, apartment. You’d made up with Roxy, quickly, the two of you could never be apart for long, but you don’t want to bug her when you know she’s busy. You’re tempted to text Caliborn, just a quick ‘can we talk’. You feel like a coward and you abhor it. He’s just a man, surely Caliborn is just a man. Sure he’s hot and knows how to handle you and you’re so insanely comfortable.

“God fucking dammit.” You growl, flipping over onto your stomach on the couch and groaning into the cushions. “Get yourself together Strider.” You command, and the couch is warm and nice and you might very well be content to just spend your life here and say fuck it to all your responsibilities. Fuck the meeting with your supplier tomorrow. Fuck going to Dave and Sollux’s shitty game night where you’ll just hear Karkat go on about how he keeps finding them tongue fucking at work. And most of all fuck Caliborn, and no that is not the right train of thought to be on. You need a smoke, but you’re trying to quit. Maybe you ought to quit Caliborn along with it. They’re both bad habits that will lead to nothing but pain, because isn’t that what all of your relationships have led to? You’ve always fled because you fear intense commitment that’s not with your family. For the sheer amount of short term boyfriends and flings you’ve had, all you’ve ever really craved was a good long term relationship. However, you won’t allow yourself that because you’re too fucking cowardly. Maybe you ought to just go back to that, it wasn’t emotionally fulfilling but your life never is, at least you were getting laid. Your phone rings beside you and you pick it up excitedly, but it’s not him and you groan at the caller ID but answer it regardless. “What do you want?”

“Such a loving greeting thank you brother.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Rose.”

“Well now that the wives and I are back from Europe I’m stopping in town to see my family. Considering Dave and Sollux were having an, ahem, personal moment.”

“You walked in on them?”

“Bingo.”

“Yeah that happens like once a week. And let me guess, since Roxy’s busy you’re chilling with me.”

“Roxy said you might need some company, and food. So we’re going grocery shopping.”

“Fun.” You say it halfheartedly, but you do love Rose, and you missed her. Besides you do need to get out of the house, perhaps this is a blessing.

Approximately fifty three minutes later you and Rose are walking through the bread isle, intensely conversing.

“Theory has completely separate definitions in science then in a historical context.” You say, grabbing your favorite brand of bread and placing it into the sparsely filled cart in front of Rose.

“The definition is fluid enough to smoothly pass between both.”

“Besides if we’re going to discuss fundamental communism, you have to look at the goings on of all theoretical government systems at the time. Focusing on fascism and communism and not even touching on Marx’s original views is outrageous.”

“Yet you’ve just described he problem that comes with any and all historical discussions, what amount of context is necessary to fully grasp a concept with the original meaning.” She give a hand wave while the two of you steer your way into aisle five.

“Fair enough, but I expect better from you Lalonde.” Your eyes skim over the the selections of microwave meals, when a dark hands opens the cooler you were looking at, and not to mention standing in front of, and you turn, ready to tear into this rude guy and, “oh.” Of all fucking people, of all the goddamn people to show up when you’re trying to forget him. Caliborn’s eyes flicker to you and they look tired.

“Dirk, dearest brother of mine, it’s rude not to introduce people.” Rose’s face is a mix between that smug Cheshire car grin, and faux innocence and it scares you a bit. Without taking your eyes off Caliborn’s you speak.

“Rose this is Caliborn.”

“I figured as much.” You flash her a raised eyebrow and she shrugs. “Roxy’s a gossip what can I say.”

“Caliborn, my sister, Rose.”

“How many damn siblings do you have?” His voice is deep and familiar and you definitely don’t miss him like crazy.

“Three.”

“That is too many.” You miss him like crazy.

“It’s admittedly two pairs of twins.” Rose begins to grab the microwave meals you wanted and everything she does seems smug. You go back to looking at Caliborn’s face and everything about him looks tired. His stunning rusty brown eyes have bags under them, his facial features seem slumped, and before you can stop it, your hand’s on his cheek and you freeze.

“What are you doing Strider?” You pull your hand away like his skin had burnt you.

“You look tired.”

“I am tired.”

“Yeah…” The two of you stand in awkward silence and you clear your throat. “So, uh, I figured we could talk about what happened.”

“What happened was we weren’t on the same page and that fucked things up.”

“Blunt, but fair. I just, I-”

“You meant what you said and that’s fine Strider, can I just get my frozen peas and leave?” He sounds tired and exasperated. You nod and step aside and he grabs his peas. Your mind runs, what do you want, you have to do something, you can’t have more time apart from him, you want him, need him, in your life. You can’t give him up and he’s just going to leave. When he stands up you distastefully blurt.

“Date me.”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking, and I was going to call you to get back to you like you asked but this is better and just.” You sigh. “Date me?”

“Dirk, I seriously don’t want to deal with shit. You and your tramp sister-”

“Oh that’s not a fair assessment.” Rose quips, Caliborn just continued like she’d never spoken.

“Can just leave, I’m just going to be another Rufioh, or Jake, or Equius, or I don’t know-”

“Cronus, or Horuss, or that cute boy you met at that concert.”

“Rose I swear to god you are not helping.”

“Regardless, I don’t plan on being another boyfriend like that.” You chew the inside of your cheek, as much as you hate to admit it that’s a fair concern for him to have. “Yeah it was fun what we had, but it’s over.” He shrugged. “Good times, but good times in the past.” You could tell by the way his eyes flicked away from your shades that he was lying, he’s a terrible liar, and even more terrible at talking about his feelings and in some weird way you’re grateful.

“Well could we start a new present?” Rose snorted back a laugh, and you shot her a glare, yes it was cheesy and you don’t do cheesy, but Caliborn does. He drops his frozen peas and pulls you up into him and kisses you. Your arms loop around his shoulders and he’s solid and real and it’s like coming home, you could cry with how right it feels. You don’t though, instead you just kiss him back and when you break away you see Rose slowly clapping.

“Well played Strider, way to get the girl.” Caliborn’s cheeks flush and his mouth opens, and you can’t help but let out a quick laugh. You’re so ecstatic, you’re so happy to have him back. You pray to every deity you can think of that it’ll be permanent.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys holy shit only one more after this before permanence is over forever, I'm gonna cry this is really emotional for me.  
> I'll do the cheesy thanks then right now, if you liked feel free to tell me in the comments or at tumblr at Barefootcosplayer.


End file.
